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Wisdom Quote
The freedom that is exercised in the choice of priestly vocations is a mystery hidden in God, a mystery that reaches out of the obscurity of God's Providence to select, sometimes, unlikely men to be "other Christs" and sometimes to reject those who are, in the eyes of men, best fitted for the vocation.
*Thomas Merton. No Man is an Island.
Wisdom Story
A man died and went to heaven. He had served as a priest for over forty years. Upon meeting Christ, he said, "Christ, I do not mean to offend you. But why did you call me to a calling I was so unfit for?" "For three reasons," replied Jesus. "First, others needed you in precisely those ways that made you seem unfit. Second, because precisely your lack of fitting led you to trust me in a way you never would have if you had felt fit to my calling. And, last, I always am trying to teach persons that I am full of surprises."
Comments
Vocation pertains to a sacred Calling to mediate the Presence of and represent the universal Christ. There is a mystery to the Calling. It does not always match well natural talents or personality. Also, many other persons not called to a particular service might, according to natural endowments, be more qualified for the Calling.
We are each called to this mediating and representing of the Christ Presence. In that sense, we are all priestly, each a priest. The efficacy of our eucharistic offering of our selves to service is from Grace to Grace. So, we are to offer ourselves, realizing that the offering exists more in that self-giving than personality traits or capabilities.
That you are called to a Calling that seems not to fit you does not mean you will be any less effective than one who seems better suited to the vocation. Simply give yourself as your self, and allow the fruition of your work to rest not on your esteem of yourself but on your trust in the Divine.
I myself have struggled much with my calling to be a pastor. I do not feel like I am well-suited for that vocation. I have served in that tension for years. Likewise, however, I have seen God use me in ways that my own uniqueness, even in the sense of “non-pastoral” traits, has been a blessing to many persons. I hope one day to serve in a vocation where I can focus more on particular gifts that the pastorate hinders my using as much as I feel would be of much benefit to others. I continue to serve as pastor, accepting that at least for now, there is a divine purpose in the calling.
Likewise, I have seen how we can question a calling to a vocation due to our not fitting well, or as well as many, the cultural shaping of it. Of course, inevitably society will shape the functioning of a vocation. However, this shaping, while utilitarian, might prejudice persons against unlike aspects of the calling. This means that a vocation can take on a wide range of personality traits and gifts, and a particular group can exclude viable and helpful traits and gifts, based on unconscious or conscious prejudice.
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All this means that vocation can be exercised with tension pertaining to personality traits and capabilities, while the vocation itself is not defined by any set of such. Likewise, knowing this can relieve the tension and help in the called one affirming his or her calling as from God, even while it might not be affirmed by the majority of others. Indeed, the one called might appear odd and unfit by his or her manifesting aspects that the over-all society or group is in dire need of. One called may be a healthy compensation, or even a prophetic sign of a needed emphasis.
Merton reminds us that we must, nevertheless, return to God to define and validate calling, either general or specific. When we go back to the Divine, then, we must accept there is a mystery to why Providence assigns callings. Likewise, we can rejoice in our calling, knowing the Wisdom of God takes priority over the expectations of others are the one living the call. We can affirm gladly that calling is not defined by personality or a set of personality traits.
This does not mean, however, that the struggle between outer expectation and inner call is resolved in the mystery of God. One may still undergo the tension, but the tension will be lessened and placed in perspective by acknowledging the mystery of the call itself.
Ironically, the tension can serve as part of the calling. One can dedicate the tension to God and see, also, the tension as a self-chosen act in Christ of the tension that always exists within the birthing of the New Creation. This means that the tension itself can be seen as central to the call and a gift both to the one called and whom he or she serves with the call.
I conclude with a couple of important points on the tension of calling. First, tension may manifest a discrepancy between setting and calling which warrants a movement to a new setting. In my mid-thirties, for example, I left my native Christian group due to the dissonance between myself and calling and the group. Second, tension can be a sign of a needed change in vocation, possibly movement to a new vocation completely or focusing on a particular aspect of the over-all vocation.
Suggested Reflection
Do you ever feel a tension between how you sense Christ calls you to serve and the prior expectations of others? Can you consecrate joyfully to God these differences and see them as enhancing the call?
Do you ever feel unsuited to the calling God has given you? Do you see how this has led you to depend more on God in serving the call?
How does your specific calling join with the general priestly calling in your life?
Brian is available to respond to requests pertaining to seeking a Spiritual Mentor, his speaking, leading classes, workshops, or retreats. See any major on-line bookseller for his book An Ache for Union.
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