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A Sagely Word
"Moments of spontaneous meditative experience can be understood as flash points of awareness as the person we are breaks forth into human consciousness. Suddenly, we realize a oneness with God that we intuitively recognize to be at once God’s identity and our own. In moments of meditative awakening we obscurely sense that who we are and who God is is, in some inscrutable way, one mystery.”
*James Finley, Christian Meditation: Experiencing the Presence of God. Finely is a former Trappist monk and close friend of Thomas Merton. He is a clinical psychologist in California and leads retreats and workshops throughout North America.
Commentary
Acting lovingly is a complex, but simple, matter. Acting lovingly has a basis in Reality: All of us are One. Before I act toward you, you and I are substantially always One.
Acting lovingly is so simple, but gets so messy. Acting lovingly is acting wisely. That, to me, is the challenge for us. I experience the need to act wisely as more difficult than having love enough to act. I often do not know how to act wisely, for wisely pertains to skillful means, to the “how.” The how-to is not always clear, even when the principles for acting are clear. This is one reason I remain in spiritual direction and close contact with persons I trust to offer spiritual guidance.
I am skeptical of persons who seem to be overly certain of being able always, even most of the time, to know how to act lovingly and wisely. I am skeptical of persons who always seem to know what others need to do or do not need to do, often without listening prayerfully to the other person. I am skeptical of persons too ready to give advice. I admit much uncertainty in myself, instead, and this keeps me humble and open to Divine guidance in situations. This allows me to preach and teach as invitation, rather than just information or direction. This uncertainty allows me to be less ready to give advice to others and more prepared to listen to them.
Skillful means relates to how to use all we are, body, mind, and speech, in relationships. All we are must be involved in relationships, or we are holding back a part of ourselves. Even this skillful action presents decisions. For example, when am I to share matters about my thoughts that others are not prepared to hear? Skillful means applied lovingly must take into consideration not only what I think but the motives for sharing what I think. If I share what I think out of a selfish orientation of needing to be up front completely with persons, then, that can just be another self-righteous trip.
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Possibly, some matters are best left unshared, for varied reasons, or unshared for a time. Is that being dishonest? Well, that is another question. But there is a difference between not sharing everything and lying to others. And a person can skillfully and lovingly withhold information, as well as unskillfully and unlovingly share information. There is often a wise love in silence. Skillful means seeks in the use of speech and silence, as well as the employment of all we are, the universal principle of nonharming, or helpfulness.
Notice the following insight from the Gospel. Jesus is preparing his disciples for his death. He has taught them for a long while, but now he says, I have not told you everything I know, for you have not been prepared to hear it:
I have much more to say to you, but right now it would be more than you could understand. The Spirit shows what is true and will come and guide you into the full truth. The Spirit doesn't speak on its own. The Spirit will tell you only what it has heard from me, and the Spirit will let you know what is going to happen. The Spirit will bring glory to me by taking my message and telling it to you. (St. John 16.12-14, CEV, Inclusive Adaptation)
The Jesus Story shows Jesus loving Judas and Peter at mealtime just before one was to betray him and the other deny him. Was that wise? It depends on how we see the Story. What is wise or unwise in expression of love can only be, usually, defined in the context of time. Regardless, the very effort to love is worth the Journey. And we can never know in this moment, but rarely, the full good of our effort. Likewise, the harm we bring is often only known within a broader context than the immediate time.
I no longer believe I must know always how to act wisely. The desire to love is itself reward, or blessing. We are called to act, and often even our attempts at loving are based on the best decision we can make at a particular time. Surely, hopefully, over time we come to be wiser, for love, while a risk, is not a permission to harm others or ourselves.
Possibly, only those who most deeply love struggle most to know how to love. And, possibly, those who seek the least resistance in their love are most afraid to love. And, likewise, could it be the greatest lovers are the least certain about how to love unconditionally and helpfully to others?
Spiritual Exercises
1. What does “love” mean to you?
2. Are you more ready to listen or speak when someone asks for your help?
3. How does meditation contribute to our becoming more comfortable with uncertainty?
4. Reread and reflect upon the opening sagely word.
5. Do your daily meditation and spiritual reading.
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