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This is the third of the series of reflections arising from a month in silence and solitude; the musings invite the reader to explore the Truth for himself or herself. May the writer's reflections be windows to look in, or out, onto the vista of our one Beloved, our deepest, truest Self. Peace! Brian
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I am
not theist
I am
not atheist
I am not
non-theist
I am not
agnostic
all these ~
thoughts in the mind
that ever-changes
I am
bathed in the Mystery
of Inexplicable Life
Silently
I worship
What?
How can anyone say?
All needed to say ~
the Beloved has washed from me
all such need to cling to positions
about Grace
and joined me in union
with this being in this one moment
in Love together, eternally, now
Once imbibing the Wine of Grace
from the hidden cup held in the hands of the Beloved
all need to argue about this Mystery leaves the lover
in bliss
* * *
First, we can rightly see everything arising from thought is just that ~ a thought, belief, opinion, ..., and nothing more, regardless of how approximating Truth. When a Pastor in the Christian church, I came to realize that everyone in the congregation heard something different when hearing the word "God"; so, in a sense, if 100 persons were present, there were 100 different versions of God, even as applicable, 100 different Gods.
Later, I realized something most persons do not assume about atheists - the "no-Godders." Atheists have as strong an idea of God as the "Godders" do. Each atheist has a God-opinion he or she claims not to believe in. Ironic! So, Godders and No-Godders have more in common than either wish to admit, it seems. Indeed, both kinds often are evangelists for their cause, needing to seek to convert those of the opposite opinion. Both see their message as liberating, as Gospel, or Good News.
* * *
On retreat, came the realization that, while raised in conservative religion, and later moving away from that, the devotion to something we could call "God" lives inside me. As much as I get caught in the head, intellectualizing, or enjoy a kind of mindful aloofness from feeling, something lives in my heart, innermost beingness, wanting to love this Other my heart says loves me. No, this Other has transformed in my thinking over the years, while, yet, being there. This a Love I cannot, thankfully, escape. So, I realized I am not into "Godding" or "No-Godding," just into Love, and to me that Love is both my deepest Self, or Beingness, and totally Other, also. I realize that is apparently contradictory, but Truth most well-intuited in thought always appears to encompass contradiction - we, for this, use the word paradox. So, one could say that both theists and atheists lack an intuitive perception of Truth as paradox, each holding fast to one pole of how Truth shows up in the mind and heart. Agnosticism, the "Maybe-Godders," appears an intellectualualized position and, likewise, failing to appreciate this paradoxical Presence, Truth, choosing a distant non-commitment, claiming this is the real Good News, deciding not to risk the venture of diving into this Ocean of Mystery, looking at it from the shore.
* * *
After returning home, the first morning I began reading through Mooji's The Mala of God. Mooji shines with this pardoxical Truth, the Beloved who is also, in some totally inexplicable way, also you ~ not your personhood, you. This Other, appears both, as personal and impersonal, but is neither. The mind implodes when one seeks this Truth, this God, or the mind is still away from knocking on the door of that One. Yes, the mind knocks on the door of Truth, exhausting its search, and the knocking invites its death in the Fires of Grace. In entering the house of Truth, the mind functions still, yet, its clinging to its ideas of Truth are burned to death. So, in Mooji's words...
Listen
Let no man say
what God is
or what God is not
Rather
let him keep quiet
inside his being
until he finds his
Lord here
* * *
We can embrace that "Rather" and release the arguments about God or no God or possibly God. Such keeps us stuck in duality, out-of-harmony. We can quietly avoid all such talk, for Truth is Truth, no need to be arguing about it. We may come to see how such argumentation, such needing to announce what one thinks on this, expresses a pervasive ignorance, and one arrogant, rather than a courageous, humbled release into Reality, Love.
In this, we can enjoy Truth arising as Truth arises ~ personal, impersonal; intimate, distant; outside Creation, inside Creation, both inside and outside Creation; enjoying our loving, not needing even to be noticed; male or female or it; totally Other, our True Self. In allowing, in quietness, this play of the Divine, our experience of Truth becomes an adventure, we can be curious, and the expanse of our communion with Life can encourage others to feel free to relax with this matter of "God." Indeed, we can relax into Truth, pulsating Presence, that cannot fit into thought and, so, is free of thought. We can join Truth in the freedom, the realizing we are not what anyone has ever thought we are or can think we are, we are not the best we think of ourselves or the worst. Now, that sounds, to me, so much more inspiring and hopeful than living in the confines of Yes-God-No-God-Maybe-God. This is, indeed, a beautiful act of reverence.
* * *
Ultimately, the only way to know anything of Truth
is to dive helplessly into this Sea of Grace
allowing It to show Itself to you
pulling you deeper and deeper into Itself
farther and farther from the familiar shore
until you see always, everywhere
only Love
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*All material, unless another source is cited, is authored by the presenter of Lotus of Heart, Brian Kenneth Wilcox, Florida USA. Use of the material is permitted; Brian only requests that credit be given and to be notified at 77ahavah77@gmail.com .
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union, is available through major booksellers.
*Move cursor over pictures for photographer and title.
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